We grieve alone

This morning we took Peekaboo, our 14-year-old kitty with an inoperable sarcoma, to the vet clinic for the last time.

She’s in a happier place now, so I hope, at least. A place with no pain.

Stefano and I grieve alone.

Those of our friends who don’t have animals in their lives just don’t understand our grief…they don’t understand the intense love that we have for our furry companions. And yet losing a cat can be as difficult as losing a human companion, according to this Cornell University article: https://www.vet.cornell.edu/departments-centers-and-institutes/cornell-feline-health-center/health-information/health-topics/grieving-loss-your-cat

Keshé, Puzzola, Piccolo, Priscilla, and Peekaboo are all gone now.

My heart is heavy today.

Peekaboo. My strong, beautiful, curious, tough girl. Who is going to head butt me now? Who is going to greet me when I come home and give me a long list of all the things that happened during my absence (she was such a talker…)?


I will miss you so much, sweetie.

Much love.


Time goes by so quickly that I can’t keep up. So much to do around the house (etc.), the cats (etc)…etc. 

And then…Coxarthrosis came into my life… 

The pain began months ago…I don’t remember exactly when,  but I recently found an October 2020 text message sent to a friend in which I wrote that I had some pain in my hip and unfortunately had to postpone our rendezvous. So something was clearly happening as many as seven (!) months ago. Back then, though, Stefano and I both thought it was just a pulled muscle or something minor that would heal itself in time…

I began paying attention only when the pain got worse (I have a high pain threshold, so that probably took a while…I just can’t remember…too much going on…), and I began to limp. By then, though, we were at the beginning or perhaps even in the middle of our kitchen renovation, and I really couldn’t spare the time to go for an X-ray. So I limped through the renovation…and, FTR, I am still limping.

Then of course there was the issue of Covid-19. In those winter months, Tuscany, and Italy in general, was going through some very difficult times. Orange, then red zones, hospitals full of Covid patients…very sad. I had to choose between limping around the house OR leaving the house and possibly contracting Covid. I chose the former. Limp limp limp. 

But then the Covid vaccination campaign began, and the numbers started going down, thank goodness. Last week I felt it was safe enough to go have an X-ray…Three X-rays, as it turned out. I had hoped it was simply an inflammation of some sort, which could easily be taken care of, but no, the diagnosis was coxarthrosis, which is basically degenerative osteoarthritis of the hip joint. Yes, degenerative. Bummer. 

Incidentally, in case you were wondering (I certainly did!!!), it has nothing to do with my myeloma. Phew. No, it’s a common condition with elderly folks (but not just the elderly…Younger folks can get this thing, too…And I’m not even 60 years old…), BUT you can also get coxarthrosis as a result of a fall, and I did fall very hard when I fractured my shoulder a few years ago. Oh well. Who knows? It doesn’t really matter how I got it, to be honest. I will have to live with it, period. What I don’t want to live with, however, is the PAIN, which  can certainly be managed.

And that is why, right after my diagnosis, I asked  the wonderful pharmacist, Dr. Ferruccio Balducci (Farmacia Balducci, in Calenzano, Florence), who prepares my C3 curcumin complex capsules, to help me deal with the pain and perhaps even slow down the progression of this type of arthrosis. That was the right move: he has a lot of experience in this field, and he prepared some capsules that should help, not just with the coxarthrosis but also with the myeloma. One of the ingredients, in fact, is Boswellia, which I tested some years ago for my MM. Too early to tell if the capsules are working, but it does seem that my pain has diminished in the past few days, and I am moving around more easily. Time will tell. 

Now I need to find, and make an appointment with, a good orthopedist, since it is likely that I will have to have surgery at some point in the future…Unless we can stop the degeneration, eh! A girl can dream, right? 🙂 

In other news, more positive news!, Stefano and I have registered to have the anti-Covid vaccine. By July we should both be fully vaccinated. We’ll still wear our  masks, though. I recently came across a study on MM and CLL patients, which, as I recall, included nine (?) smouldering myeloma folks. The vaccines were, on average, about 50% effective on the MM patients. Still, as I told my family doctor, 50% is better than 0%. 

On an even more positive note, we just booked a week in August of TOTAL RELAX in a hotel located on a stunningly beautiful lake up in the Dolomites, northern Italy. Can’t wait!!! 

Anyway, sorry for having written so little in the past few (okay, several!) months, but I’m sure you will understand and forgive me.

Okay, I must be off now. Take care, everyone!!! Ciao!!!

P.S. Some of you mentioned how lovely our marble countertops look in the photo with Potter (in a previous post). It’s actually NOT marble, but an easy-to-clean and very resistant (to cat scratches, e.g.) blend of natural quartz stone, porcelain, and glass. It’s fabulous. We love our new, functional kitchen!!!

P.P.S.S. I wanted to post a few photos of my flowers and the kitties, but the system refuses to upload them. Oh well!!! More luck next time…