Funny Wednesday

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, “Bring me my red shirt!” The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, which the captain put on. He led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party and, although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.

Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calm as ever, bellowed, “Bring me my red shirt!” And once again the battle was on. The captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties; however, this time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day’s occurrences, when an ensign looked up at the captain and asked, “Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?” The captain calmly explained, “If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound, and thus you men will continue to fight unafraid…” The men sat in silence, marveling at the courage of such a man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships on their way, ten of them, all with boarding parties. The men became silent and looked to the captain for his usual command. The captain, calm as ever, bellowed, “Bring me my brown pants!”

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