Paula…

Bloody hell. I’ve been off the Internet for several days…since Thursday evening, in fact. So I didn’t know until just a short while ago about what happened…the awful awful awful news…

Ever since Paula stopped blogging and answering her e-mails, I felt that something was wrong. Terribly wrong. I hoped and hoped and hoped that it was just a problem with her computer connection at the hospital. Sadly, however, it wasn’t. My gut instinct was right…And for once, I wished it had been wrong…

Stefano and I got back after midnight last night from a fantastic four-day holiday in London. But this post isn’t going to be about our trip, except to mention that, as always, I took Honey, my Myeloma buddy, with me and planned to post some photos of Honey on the London Eye, Honey at Trafalgar Square, Honey at Westminster Abbey, Honey near the Tate Modern…I also planned to send Paula a whole bunch of other cute “Honey in London” photos…

As I mentioned, I was hoping…And somehow…and this will sound quite nutty, I suppose…and somehow I hoped these photos might help Paula in some small way…if only to make her smile. In fact, that is why I posted the recent “Honey in Harvard Yard” photo…Paula was already in the hospital then, fighting a bug she’d picked up (at the hospital…)…

But Paula died on Sunday. I just found out that she had a terrible reaction to her last chemo treatment, which was injected directly into her spinal fluid…where myeloma cells had been found. Her sister-in-law reported that at a certain point the decision was made to stop all treatment and just make Paula as comfortable as possible. 

I never met Paula in the flesh. But the three of us (she, Beth and I) corresponded quite frequently…we sent each other silly funny quirky things, e.g. But we also discussed treatments and whatnot…Last year, I sent her some curcumin…

I have several of her Myeloma buddies (not just Honey, i.e.), including the very first bunny she’d made…such an honor for me. And a few months ago she sent me a beautiful blanket she’d made just for me. I shall treasure that blanket forever…

Paula…dear sweet generous funny Paula, I’m going to miss you. Terribly. And I feel so incredibly sad and distressed for Bernard, Paula’s husband, and their dog, Buddy. I can’t even imagine what they must be going through…(Speaking of pets, my youngest kitty, Pinga, doesn’t know WHY I’m weeping, but she senses something is terribly wrong, so she’s cuddling against me, licking my arm, looking up at me and cooing reassuringly. Aren’t our furry ones wonderful?)

Paula’s blog URL: http://goo.gl/5cRcu 

Goodbye, my dear friend. These photos are for you:

Honey in London, June 2012

14 Comments

  1. Margaret: What a wonderful tribute to such a special lady. We shall all (in your country, in ours, and everywhere) miss Paula, her “Buddies”, and her blog.

    Thankfully she’s no longer in pain …..

  2. I’m sorry you had to come home to such sad news Margaret. I love your “Honey” pictures and I’m sure Paula would too. She was a dear friend to so many who had never met her face to face. I would love to include your Myeloma Buddy photos on a collage for Bernard if you would like to send them to me via email or Facebook. She brought so much joy to many people’s hearts and will be deeply missed.

  3. Paula I’m sure would have loved these special photos and it would have made her smile, something she seemed to do very often – it showed in her writing. Such a very kind and loving person – I recalled the lovely pair of diamond encrusted angels that sparkled in the sun ( Pic on my FB page ) she so kindly crocheted for Hamada a month before he died. How thrilled he was with them. Paula was an angel – God always chooses angels first. It has been a sad few days. Blessings and a hug Margaret.

  4. I haven’t written in a long time. I’m stilll “hangin’ in”, living alone at home and taking care of myself in addition to taking care of my sister’s affairs, who has profound dementia. Not easy but if I should get a cold it’s pure H___l. So I’m following up recommendation about Manuka honey. Ordered it just now. Thanks for the tip.’
    I didn’t know Paula at all and don’t recall seeing any posts, but of course, I send my condolences to you. I have been upset at the news of
    Sandra Stokes, whose posts I always valued. She passed away on March 26.
    Shirley in NYC

  5. Dear Margaret: I too am devastated. I had hoped someone had news but I knew 2 months ago things were not good. Like you I prayed for her daily. Sent her some stuff that would have helped her spine MM but it was too late. I have not corresponded as frequently as you but we had several chats. It is like loosing a memeber of your family!
    Thanks for the lovely tribute. My mm Budy sits above my computer. Janice

  6. I feel certain that at the least Bernard and other family members and friends can see the many loving remembrances of Paula we have posted and that may bring them some comfort in the days ahead. While we miss her, I feel joy in the certainty that if anybody got their wings, it was Paula.

  7. I know, I know, I know… it was heart breaking to realize she is really gone. I share your sadness. My buddies (3 left) and bunnies (2) are not so well traveled, they are waiting in a drawer, waiting for babies. I just learned today that one of them will have a new home in February. One went to Minnesota last spring. My sister recently received one she ordered for her granddaughter arriving in July.
    I “met” Paula on-line, and didn’t connect that she sent a contribution to my daughter in law’s Race for the Cure myeloma fundraiser. We each assumed the other knew “P. Killgallon” until we went over the thank yous one last time and discovered neither of us had thanked her… and finally I connected. What a sweetie!
    She just had so much spirit, and could make me laugh over the simplest things. I am also worried about Lonnie – haven’t heard anything recently excpet that photo post that looks like a deer in the headlights. I guess we are living in an alternate universe in this MM community. It is hard to accept.

  8. A wonderful tribute to a someone who was clearly a wonderful person. I’m so sorry, Margaret. These losses hit so hard. I hope that somewhere Paula is smiling at the Honey photos.

  9. Linda, I will look through my photo files and send you some photos of my buddies asap. Too bad I’ve never taken any photos of my parents’ buddies. On my request, you see, Paula made a special one for my Dad, and it has a beard. It’s so cute! Oh well.

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