As a former professional translator who still occasionally translates, I enjoy funny translations. I recently came across a list of English signs found in non-English speaking countries. Amusing enough to give a boost to our NK cells?

In a Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for. (One of my personal favourites! Hehe.)

In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?

On the faucet in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.

In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today €” no ice cream. (Another favourite.)

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions. (Ditto.)

In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.