The carrot at the end of the tunnel…

A blog reader/friend, thanks!, sent this list of statements made by soccer/football (depending on the country you live in) players. I don’t know if they are true or not (no mention of them on Snopes). It doesn’t matter, I suppose. They are certainly plausible and made me giggle more than once….even though I have no idea who most of these players are–the only names I recognize are Beckham and Thierry. Anyway, enjoy! (I couldn’t help adding a few comments…in brackets.)

My parents have always been there for me, ever since I was about 7. David Beckham

I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league. Mark Viduka

Alex Ferguson is the best manager I’ve ever had at this level. Well, he’s the only manager I’ve actually had at this level. But he’s the best manager I’ve ever had. David Beckham (glad he cleared that up for us…)

If you don’t believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day. Neville Southall (I guess not!)

I’ve had 14 bookings this season – 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable. Paul Gascoigne

I’ve never wanted to leave. I’m here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well. Alan Shearer (positive thinking, there you go!)

I’d like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona. Mark Draper (uhm…er…well…)

You’ve got to believe that you’re going to win, and I believe we’ll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we’re knocked out. Peter Shilton

I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don’t want to leave Leicester. Stan Collymore

I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing. Ade Akinbiyi

Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match. Ian Wright

I’m as happy as I can be – but I have been happier. Ugo Ehiogu (I like this guy…)

Leeds is a great club and it’s been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough. Jonathan Woodgate

I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel. Stuart Pearce (my favorite…)

I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right. Lee Hendrie

I couldn’t settle in Italy – it was like living in a foreign country. Ian Rush (LOL! ROFWL! On the par with the carrot tunnel remark)

Germany are a very difficult team to play…they had 11 internationals out there today. Steve Lomas

I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock. Barry Venison

I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don’t know into what religion yet. David Beckham

The Brazilians were South American, and the Ukrainians will be more European. Phil Neville

All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.  Mitchell Thomas

One accusation you can’t throw at me is that I’ve always done my best. Alan Shearer

I’d rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd. Johnny Giles

Sometimes in football you have to score goals. Thierry Henry (it’s good to know the rules…)


  1. A wise man once said, “You can be smart and happy or stupid and miserable. . . it’s your choice.” I wonder which one they chose! (Hehe)

  2. 1) I must link to this. Hope you don’t mind.
    2) re the first comment… are you sure it’s not “smart and miserable/stupid and happy?”
    at any rate, hilarious! Thanks for sharing.

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