Later today my husband and I are leaving for my in-laws’ holiday home in Gaggio Montano, a small town located in the Apennine mountains. My in-laws are from the South, an area near Naples, but moved to Florence after they were married. And even though my husband was born in Florence, he has very strong ties to his huge extended Southern family. And now, so do I. Southern Italians are wonderful, affectionate and generous people. Anyway, every spring we have a huge family weekend gathering at Gaggio Montano, which means the following: lots of laughter, lots of food and wine, lots of card games and lots and lots of noise. Lots! Total chaos. A typical Southern Italian feast €”an experience not to be missed (if possible)!

The Southern relatives will be arriving at various times today and tomorrow, bringing a ton of food with them: an entire lamb (horror!!! I won’t even look at it, let alone eat any ), a truckload of delicious mozzarella di bufala, or buffalo mozzarella (nothing at all like the horrible plastic-tasting stuff I have had in the States), fantastic wine (not just my beloved Tuscan Chianti, but also Aglianico and Taurasi from the region of Campania), various types of cheeses and salami you name it, they are bringing it. One big item on the menu will be porchetta, or pork roast. I won’t touch that, either!, since there will be plenty of wonderful vegetables to eat, too. The serious partying begins tonight, and goes on all day tomorrow. Fun! I won’t have Internet access until we get back on Sunday. So, have a great weekend! 🙂

A humourous story, sent to me by a good listserv friend (thanks!!!).

Southern Grandma

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams, I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.” The lawyer was stunned!

Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?” She again replied, “Why, yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.” The defence attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, “If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll throw you in jail for contempt.”