Teacher: “Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?”

Nick: “What do you think it is?”

Teacher: “I don’t think, I KNOW!”

Nick: “I don’t think I know, either!”

 

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an “I”.

Student: I is the…

Teacher: Stop! Never put ‘is’ after an “I”. Always put ‘am’ after an “I”.

Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

 

Two cows are standing in a field.

One says to the other “Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?”

The other one says “No, it doesn’t worry me in the least, I’m a horse…”

 

Last but not least, try this one on your friends and family (I got a few guffaws out of this one..both my parents fell for it…hehe):

 

“Spell SPOT three times.”

“S P O T , S P O T , S P O T”

“What do you do when you come to a green light?”

(answer is invariably=) “Stop!”

“What, at a GREEN light?”